I am in the process of evolution. This is not Darwin’s misguided concept that evolution is fueled by survival. This evolution is one of gradual, and peaceful change. Why peaceful? I choose the direction I want to be. Choosing is a peaceful action. Having to choose is a battle. When has fighting for survival really helped mankind and life? All life wants to grow and bloom.
What I seek is not war; I truly seek the peace of knowing that I add to life. Peace is not necessarily the easy choice. Peace for me means I am acting in alignment with who I am. Evolution may mean standing up and saying no, changing the routine, and risking a new outcome. This is not war. It is following my inner knowing that clues in on what I am feeling/experiencing in the moment. I use this information to grow. All life needs to grow.
When I stop growing, I get anxious and eventually depressed. Whenever I try to make the anxiety or depression go away, I am really being stubborn in my refusal to listen to the message that I need to make a change. Anxiety and depression are communications from life that I need to evolve, to grow, to change. Anxiety and depression are not diseases. They are signals from life that it is time to go forward.
What I am anxious about today? Websites. We have two websites that are like needy people. Black holes of energy. To top it off, I can only do so much since I am technically challenged and haven’t a clue about the inner workings of programing. I can usually see what needs to be done, but I do not know how to make it happen. This feeling of wanting something but not knowing how to get is often the root of anxiety for me. I feel threatened when I perceive that I lack something to create an outcome.
I took anxiety at its word and realize how I perceive websites is causing me to feel uncomfortable. Ok. I will evolve. I love my work. The more people connect to what I have to teach, the more power it carries forward. So, that’s not the problem. What is it that spooks me? The awareness comes that the problem is that I hold a fear of stepping forward with my truth and heaven forbid others may not agree. Ok. I’ll jump in. I’ve done a blog even though I lack the ability to see around the corner. Truth is. I feel relief. A good sign.