Good day to you all!
It is amazing to me how often we give up our power to others, to circumstances, and to our own emotions & thoughts. In our day to day lives we make a million choices, but we give ourselves credit for a small percentage of those choices. Why do we do this?
Fear. I know, it seems too obvious and straightforward an answer, but it really is that simple. Fear. Now I will expound upon this simple idea.
We fear taking credit for our choices because this means we have to take responsibility for our choices. And we really, really fear taking responsibility for our lives. We are afraid to take responsibility for any of the “bad” choices we make in our lives that lead to “bad” things happening because somehow this makes us “bad” people. And scarier still is taking responsibility for the “good” decisions we make that lead to “good” things in our lives because somehow that makes us “good” people, until we make a “bad” choice, and then we are “bad”. If we are “good” it can be taken away from us, and this is what we truly fear about coming into our power of choice.
There are a few big issues to discuss within this fear, notably the judgments and the perception of permanence. I will go into these in detail another time, but suffice it to say when we perceive things as permanent (i.e. the judgment of being “good” or “bad”) we make ourselves miserable in one of two ways. Either we believe our “badness” is permanent and we will always be “bad”, or we believe our “good” should be permanent, and if it is not this is a clear indication that we are, in fact, “bad”.
Can you see how this all comes down to those words? The judgment about choices and how we come to believe our choices and the consequences of those choices are innately tied to our being?
This is why we fear taking responsibility for our choices. Because we believe that our choices will then define us, become an integral and permanent part of our being.
I am here to tell you they are not. Choices are choices and they have consequences in the world, but they are not tied to your innate value or worth. I can make a decision that seems to have a “bad” consequence and choose to internalize that “badness” or to take a different approach. This is another choice! See, choices are all around us!
When you begin to take responsibility for your choices you begin to take responsibility for your whole life! This sounds scary, but when you really think about it this idea becomes amazingly empowering. You always have a choice, even if it is as simple as choosing to smile at a stranger or to see the beauty all around you when you are having a bad day. You can always change your life.
You are so powerful you can steer your life in any direction YOU choose! And that opens the door to limitless possibilities!
Thanks for reading and have a choice-filled day!
Creating Mindful Balance